Deep in the jungles of Lustria stands that ancient city of Ixi-Naquaz. Not far from the city itself is an ancient and sacred tree of gigantic size, a type of palm whose fruit produces a soothing oil - ideal for Ixi-Naquaz.
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In the court of Prince Farthir Silverpetal in Athel Loren in the Old World the Prince was engrossed by the skillful plucking of a youthful lutist. Few things gave him as much pleasure as watching a virile young elf skillfully manipulating his instrument.
The gentle music was interrupted as Raendar Plumthorn burst in. "My Lord!"
"What is it Plumbum?" sighed the Prince, eliciting titters from the elves around him.
The Ranger blushed furiously at the insult, but gathered himself and stood tall.
"It is the Sacred Soothing Tree my Lord. She ails and will surely soon wither and die"
"The ancient tales do tell that if e'er the Sacred Soothung tree shall no longer be found in Athel Loren thern the doom of all elves is nigh!" spoke an ancient elf.
"Yes, yes, I know this Expositio Goldennuts, why are you telling me?" sighed the Prince
"Sorry sire"
"Why have you allowed the Sacred tree to fail, Plumbum?"
"Thorn, sire, PlumTHORN" hissed the ranger. "I have not allowed it to fail my Lord, it is our allies the Bretonnians. Throughout the summer they come and feast beneath her broad boughs and leave behind the most fearful mess" he wrinkled his nose
"Ah, yes they do so love their pique-niques as they call them, don't they?"
"But worse sire, in the winter the foul goat headed beast folk do use the Sacred Tree when they make their toilet!"
There were audible gasps followed by several thuds as daintier members of the Prince's entourage passed out.
"What? How dare you, Plumthorn? How dare you come into my grove and speak of...of.." he could barely get the words out..."bodily functions. How dare you?! For this crime against good manners and polite society I cast you out from my court and the lands of Athel Loren and ne'er shall you return lest it be with seeds to replace the Sacred Soothing tree"
The ranger fell to his knees "My Lord, I beg you, please no such seeds exist in this world!"
"Actually, I think they do" it was the Treesinger Greenfrond Deepbush who spoke. "Beyond the seas in the land of the Lizard creatures such a tree still stands. The cold bloods guard her fiercely, but her seeds will grow another Soothing Tree and heal our forest"
"Well then, what are you waiting for Plumbum? You and Bushy here better get some folk together and go and get me some seed"
"NO, I mean..I wasn't volunteer..."began the young Treesinger before she was interrupted by the ranger.
"But how do you propose we get there my Lord?"
Expositio Goldennuts cleared his throat "As you all know the roots of all living trees in this world are entwined and by powerful magic and ceremony it is possible for entire armies to be transported along the Root Way"
"Yes, yes, but to the land of the Lizards is a long and mysterious journey, how do we know which Root to take?"
The silence that followed was broken by a deep, primordial rumbling. An ancient treeman began to stir, one so old that the elves had assumed it had reverted to tree form and would never move again. This particular tree was much venerated for the time many centuries before when it had single-handedly turned back a large Beastman incursion by flinging his own fruit into the eyes of the Bray Leader, blinding the foul creature.
In a voice as old as time the Ancient Tree proclaimed
"Well if you ever plan to travel west
Travel my way, take the Rootway that's the best
Shake your sticks,
On Root sixty six"
Silence fell once more.
It was Deepbush who spoke. Facing the treeman she said
"We thank you for your wisdom oh ancient one" before turning to the assembled elves "Gather arms and prepare the ceremonies! Chuckberry has spoken - we leave on Root Sixty Six!"
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And so it came to pass that a raiding force of Wood Elves found themselves deep in the jungles of Lustria ready to fight to the death for some soothing seed from the Balm Palm of Ixi-Naquaz.
Alan bought his Lizardmen, Andy bought his Wood Elves and I hosted, thumbed through rules and proffered pithy observations and witticisms.
The scenario was the tower one from the rulebook, with the role of the tower played by a large tree.
The jungle outside Ixi-Naquaz
Great fun game to watch unfold. Alan had one near disastrous turn after a strong start when fights he should easily have won went against him. However Andy twice rolled a nine for his general attempting to bring scouts on, ending the turn and keeping valuable troops off the board.
Both armies looked lovely and being observer/rules monkey was a fun new experience.
Hilarious post Tom! 🤣🤣
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