Da Legend of Santork Klawz

Greenskin legends tell of a frozen planet far away where lives the legendary Big Mek known as Santork Klawz. Each year on the birthday of Gork and Mork, a day known to da Boys as Gorkmas (or Morkmas) the mysterious (and dangerously psychotic) Santork sneaks into Ork houses and leaves shooty and stabby presents for all the ladz who’ve been bad all year long.

Small Orks are warned that if they’re not bad enough Santork will only bring them Eldar weapons to play with.

The day after Gorkmas (or Morkmas) a huge fight erupts as the boys try out all their new weapons – a day known across the Klans as Boxing Day in honour of the mighty punch-up Gork and Mork had the day after they were born.

Most Orks grow up to think of Santork as simply a myth to frighten small grots but lately the Mad Prophet of Gork and Mork, Krom der Bashiest has been preaching far and wide that he has discovered the planet where Santork has his workshop.

Most Orks have ignored da loony prophet, but some, lured by tales of shooty and stabby weapons beyond their wildest imaginings, have taken him at his word and set off across the warp toward the tiny frozen planet known to the Imperium as XMZ – XXV.

Some are hoping to discover the scarlet clad Mad Mek and his stash of weaponry – but many are just along for the big fight they know will happen when they all get there.

This then was the background to our Christmas game in the Ilko Gaming Hut.

We each had 750 points of greenskins and the table was covered in frozen terrain with the mighty Gorkanaut Rood-Ork da Rednaught in the centre.

Somewhere in the frozen wilderness Santork himself was lurking...

Inevitably I forgot the rules I had written and raced for the objectives. Equally inevitably I was the one who unleashed Santork himself...

And then, as if by magic Rood-Ork decided to come and have a pop at me too. Things looked grim for Gruzzkupp

Waaagh Ballruum decided to join in and took some pot-shots at the ladz, so we got stuck in

Da Ballruum boys had bought some 'eavy metal with them

Santorks SnowOrk assistants rose from the frozen ground to do battle

Rood-Ork was miraculously frazzled by my Mek Gun. The first ever time the cowardly grots have ever done anything useful for da Waaagh!

By some (Gorkmas, or possibly Morkmas) miracle, when the blizzard of shootin' and stabbin' had finished da ladz of Waaagh Gruzzkup had come out on top!
So I got to eat all the chocolate.