Warhammer! It's alive!

For some reason General Ballroom has decide to spend the next few wargaming evenings locked in a sweaty room wrestling on a mat with someone called Second Dan.
More masculine than playing with soldiers he reckons.

So Steve and I seized on the chance to play some Warhammer. Hurrah!

All a bit rushed and ill-prepared but Steve picked Empire and so I naturally went for the classic greenskin match-up.

Pitched battle was the name of the game and Steve, his plethora of war machines already drawing a bead on green flesh, castled up in one corner of the board. I just lined my men up in a pleasing way to the eye. Game on.

 Night Goblins - horde style

 A bunch of utter grunts

 Like a blue and yellow hedgehog

The Empire began the game by firing a lot, and mainly killing Night Goblins.

 Bang, bang etc.

Displaying traditional Orcy kunnin' and no-wots my boys ran at the enemy yelling Waaagh!

 Waaagh!

The chariots squeaked forward.

 Fewer gobbos than before. Thanks for that Mr Mortar

The Empire Wizard cast some lightning and gave himself a blinding headache

 Ow, me noggin!

I thought this flag was an Orcy Grin, turns out its a boat (must get my eyes tested). Because what you most want when you're out at sea is full plate armour.

 Arrr, brave shipmates we in our heavy,rusty, non-boyant armour!

Anyway by this time the Orc hammer had fallen and the centre was taking a bit of a pounding.

Errrrm, you are going to hold them, aren't you chaps...?

It was at this point the vulnerable positioning of the Empire wizard began to dawn on Stephen.

Meanwhile Clive the Giant couldn't quite get to fighting as the spearmen had first bumped in to Nubbinz.

 Boing, boing STAB!

Who soon fled.

 Boingboingboingboingboing!

And so Clive could begin wailing on spearmen.

 Hur, hur, squishy!

Assisted by both chariots

Rumble, squak,clatter!

Inevitable I flubbed this completely. A mighty four impact hits caused a single casualty and a boar killed another. Clive himself only just managed to kill three and was then turned into a pin cushion by the pikemen.

 Can't even fall the right way! What do I pay you for?

It continued to go better in the centre where the trolls ate some militia, the wizard, a rocket launcher (ow, bangy!) and then the militia again.

Over on the right some halbardiers fancied their chances against the squig herd. And then did the maths and wished they hadn't thought this was a good plan.

 Aaagh! So. Many.Teeth!

Flushed from their giant toppling antics the spearmen hunted Nubbinz down and popped his squig (not a euphemism)

Let him have it!

At this point we realised not much of interest was going to happen over the remaining turns. The Trolls and boars would maybe mop up another warmachine each, but the squig herd was too far (and too flimsy) to catch the Greatswords and the spear unit was largely undamaged. Our armies had, essentially passed through one another - so we each claimed a draw.

In the absence of a clear winner the only thing to do was to declare Warhammer the winner.
Hurrah! Proper soldiers and fun and larks.
Hopefully we'll get some more of this in whilst General B is indisposed.